I dont have an exact directive yet but there has been a path set in front of me. I was walking through ONU campus and i saw a big cross this was about 3 days after i had the realization that there is no conceivable way to disprove god its just not possible all the signs point to him being there no matter what avenue you take. So i went in front of the building and i got down on my knees and began to pray. it was freezing out but i was there just praying begging god for forgiveness. about 30 mins went by and i could hear some music inside. I was told to follow the music and bare myself to the people inside. So i went in walked up to the stage took off my shoes my socks and my shirt and got down and prayed. Well it was a womens convention and people werent very happy. haha i must have misinterpreted "bare yourself" but any way after they asked me to put my shirt back and looked at me like i was some mangy dog i got dressed and walked back outside i stood by a fountain and thought about it.. and thats when i had the realization about what bare yourself meant. so i walked back in and there was only one woman at this time i asked her if we could talk and she obliged. I told her about my life and just let everything out. then i got set up with a counselor and im awaiting a call back from them now.